Dad was a chamber music fiend. Central Michigan didn’t pull enough acts north, then or later, so he and Mom were always going down to concerts at the Wharton Center in Lansing. Back then that was a good 70-75 minute drive each way, and finding a babysitter for me. Above the stairs in their home hangs Scott McKowen’s marvelous poster from the 1989 “Beethoven Quartet Cycle” performance series by the Juilliard String Quartet. The poster features a baleful Beethoven riding a wooden bicycle, sheets of a score fluttering away.

I didn’t have to go so far tonight. The Williams Center for the Arts is on Lafayette’s campus and within walking distance if I felt like tackling the hill (which I didn’t). Visiting tonight was the Neave Trio: Anna Williams on violin, Mikhail Veselov on cello, and Eri Nakamura on piano.

I’m strictly an amateur when it comes to classical music appreciation. The well-intentioned attempt by my parents to have me learn the cello ended in failure. I can’t read music nor carry a tune. I enjoy and find meaning in the experience while feeling that I lack the vocabulary to describe what I’m enjoying. No matter.

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I picked Triangle at random and went in cold. Aside from Liam Hemsworth, none of the actors are familiar to me. Even he’s not all that familiar; I only saw the first Hunger Games. I haven’t seen any of Christopher Smith’s other films. Two people I follow on Letterboxd have seen it, but neither of them mentioned it to me. The title implies a Bermuda Triangle connection, and I’ve seen plenty of those (all of them are bad). I’m always down for a good sea story. Spoilers follow.

Our primary point of view character is Jess, played by Melissa George. She’s a single mother with a young, autistic son. Her daily routine overwhelms her. Her grasp on reality is slipping. This is all conveyed in largely wordless scenes that open the movie. Her son fades into the background as she packs her car. When she arrives at the dock to meet her friends for a sailing adventure, we’re left wondering somewhat uncomfortably where her son is.

Six people assemble for a sailing party: Greg, Victor, Jess, Sally, Heather, and Downey. The group dynamics are set up quickly, with a minimum of fuss. Greg (Michael Dorman) owns and lives on the sailboat. Victor (Liam Hemsworth) is living on the boat right now; Victor ran away from home and Greg took him in. It’s implied, but not stated, that Greg and Victor are in a relationship. Greg met Jess at the diner where she works and invited her along. Sally (Rachael Carpani) and Downey (Henry Nixon) are married and old friends of Greg’s. Heather (Emma Lung) is a friend of Sally’s and Sally’s trying to set her up with Greg, oblivious to Greg’s disinterest.

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It’s harder to write about It Follows then, say, Gymkata or Alien Predator. This is new territory for me and I don’t feel especially well-equipped to tackle it, but I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.

This post will discuss themes of sexual assault. Please don’t read further if that’s going to make you uncomfortable, and consider this a trigger warning for It Follows itself if you haven’t seen it.

Readings

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1967’s Grand Slam belongs to two overlapping traditions. First, it’s an international heist movie, in good company with The Italian Job, Topkapi, and The Great Train Robbery. Second, it’s one of those European productions where the top-billed stars turned up for a day’s work and a paycheck, and are promptly never seen again. It’s easy to envision Ray Milland in the Edward G. Robinson role, if this was made in the 1970s.

We open with Edward G. Robinson, recently retired from 30 years of teaching at a Catholic school in Rio de Janeiro, dropping in on his old friend Adolfo Celi (dubbed, but not by Robert Rietty), now in the rackets. Robinson, as one does, has spent the last 30 years developing the perfect plan to steal $10 million in diamonds from the building across the street from the school, and he needs Celi to provide the team.

Compared to other heist movies the team is small. We have Robert Hoffmann as a French playboy, Klaus Kinski as a German ex-soldier, Riccardo Cucciolla as an Italian mechanical engineer, and George Rigaud as an English safecracking expert. Cucciolla makes toys for a living; Rigaud is a manservant; he cracks safes on his holiday.

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I’ve used PHP Composer for package management for years now and I’m still learning new things. Today’s cool new capability is aliases. Let me start with a tip of the hat to Laurence Gellert; I stumbled across his blog while trying to extricate myself from a dependency problem. Somewhat akin to proxying Cloudfront with Nginx, I want to emphasize that I chose this solution after considering and rejecting other options and I do not intend to make a habit of it.

We use Composer to build our Moodle deployment packages. Moodle has about fifty different plugin types. Each plugin has a component name: mod for activity modules, qtype for question type, and so on. Each has a different installation path, which means that our build process depends on the Composer installers plugin supporting each type.

Moodle shipped a revamped TinyMCE integration beginning with Moodle 4.1. CLAMP did a thorough evaluation at the 2023 Winter Hack/Doc Fest at Swarthmore. While the new TinyMCE integration itself is of the editors type, any plugin that extends it would be a Tiny editor plugin (tiny). That means that we’ll need support for that plugin type added to the Composer installers project. Unfortunately, that project isn’t very active right now–no new releases since 2022, and no response to two separate pull requests to add that change.

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Yesterday I watched the Detroit Lions, in their home stadium of Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan, defeat the Los Angeles Rams 24-23. This was a noteworthy event. Ford Field opened in 2002 and it had never hosted a Lions playoff game before, because the Lions had never managed home field advantage in all that time. The Lions had homefield advantage because they’d won the NFC North title. They’d never done that either; they’d won the NFC Central back in 1993. The last time the Lions won a playoff game was on January 5, 1992, when they beat the Dallas Cowboys 38-6.

32 years ago. I was nine years old.

The last 32 years of being a Lions fan have had more downs than ups. I’m not prepared to interrogate why people stay fans of bad teams. I’m so far through the looking glass I’ve asserted, more than once, that I don’t understand being a fan of a successful team. What I am going to do is bid farewell to some bad memories.

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I’m adding tests to one of our older internal CDK projects (see this post from 2022 for background on CDK and tests). When I say old, I mean that it started out on CDK 1.8.0, and the first commit is dated September 16, 2019. I’m writing some basic tests prior to upgrading it to CDK 2.118.0, and encountered a vaguely familiar error the first time I ran npm test:

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SyntaxError: Cannot use import statement outside a module

This is a problem with the Babel Javascript compiler, and unfortunately there’s no one mistake that causes it, which makes searching for an answer difficult. Adam Nathaniel Davis wrote a great blog post on dev.to a few years ago, summing up numerous different causes and then proceeding to detail the one that he’d encountered.

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A few days ago I wrote about a WordPress plugin that was broken under PHP 8.1. We need to patch it in a sustainable way in production until the vendor issues a fix. Because we deploy with Composer in a continuous deployment environment, it’s not so simple as just commiting the change or (gasp) modifying the file on the server.

One approach would be to create a git copy of the plugin in our private GitLab repository, commit the changes there, and then deploy that version instead. There’s a lot of overhead involved in that approach:

1. Create the repository, including (optionally) using svn2git to import the plugin from the WordPress plugins repository. You can also just commit the current state.
2. Add the plugin to our Satis-based Packagist repository.
3. Redeploy referencing that repository instead of the WordPress upstream via WordPress Packagist.

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Right before the winter break we started chasing an odd error that we encountered with the Simply Static plugin on one of our WordPress multisite networks. Aside–great plugin, highly recommend! The problem was this: with both it and its pro counterpart activated, we received a white screen of death on the Site Editor, with this stack trace:

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<b>Fatal error</b>:  Uncaught Error: Undefined constant "SECURE_AUTH_COOKIE" in /var/www/html/wp-includes/pluggable.php:929
Stack trace:
#0 /var/www/html/wp-includes/pluggable.php(694): wp_parse_auth_cookie(false, '')
#1 /var/www/html/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php(324): wp_validate_auth_cookie(false)
#2 /var/www/html/wp-includes/plugin.php(205): WP_Hook-&gt;apply_filters(false, Array)
#3 /var/www/html/wp-includes/user.php(3628): apply_filters('determine_curre...', false)
#4 /var/www/html/wp-includes/pluggable.php(70): _wp_get_current_user()
#5 /var/www/html/wp-includes/l10n.php(98): wp_get_current_user()
#6 /var/www/html/wp-includes/l10n.php(152): get_user_locale()
#7 /var/www/html/wp-includes/l10n.php(947): determine_locale()
#8 /var/www/html/wp-content/plugins/simply-static/simply-static.php(32): load_plugin_textdomain('simply-static', false, 'simply-static/l...')
#9 /var/www/html/wp-settings.php(418): include_once('/var/www/html/w...')
#10 /var/www/html/wp-config.php(130): require_once('/var/www/html/w...')
#11 /var/www/html/wp-load.php(50): require_once('/var/www/html/w...')
#12 /var/www/html/wp-admin/admin.php(34): require_once('/var/www/html/w...')
#13 /var/www/html/wp-admin/site-editor.php(12): require_once('/var/www/html/w...')
#14 {main}

Googling SECURE_AUTH_COOKIE undefined constant errors isn’t entirely helpful; there’s no one cause. Moving to PHP 8 surfaced many undefined constant errors that had flown under the radar before (that’s good). We didn’t think that there was anything wrong with our cookie setup–we didn’t define COOKIEHASH or SECURE_AUTH_COOKIE in our wp-config.php, but you don’t need to either.

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Black Widow is fan-fiction written by someone who has issues with what happened to the himbos and dimepieces in Moonraker. Let me explain.

My favorite scene in Black Widow comes about twenty-five minutes into the film. Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), the “Black Widow,” is on the run from…authorities…personified by Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt). It’s not really explained who he is and what authority he has. If you’re watching this, you probably saw Captain America: Civil War and already know the answer. If you haven’t seen that movie, go watch it instead because it’s (a) it’s a better movie and (b) this one assumes familiarity with the other Captain America movies to the point that it ought to be titled Captain America: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Budapest.

Anyway, my favorite scene comes about twenty-five minutes into the film. Natasha’s holed up in a safe house (trailer) somewhere in Norway. She’s made dinner, she’s dying her hair, and she’s watching Moonraker. It’s towards the end of the movie; they’re still on Earth, James Bond has just defeated Hugo Drax’s python at the Amazon base, and Drax is remonstrating with him. Bond quips that the python “had a crush on [him].” Natasha’s speaking the words as the movie plays–this is far from the first time she’s watched Moonraker. Let me offer a reading of how this scene explains the whole purpose of the movie.

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