I keep a list on Letterboxd of what I call my “Saturday morning” movies, so named because I’m a much earlier riser than my wife on the weekends. My criteria for these movies is somewhat loose, but in general they’re crime or heist movies shot on location in Europe in the 1970s. The vibe is this: some recognizable actors went somewhere nice and made a movie.
The criteria are flexible. Harry in Your Pocket was shot in the Pacific Northwest; Gold in apartheid South Africa. Target: Harry was made (for American television, no less) in 1969, and then re-edited with superfluous nudity in 1979. The Day of the Jackal probably shouldn’t be on the list at al–it’s far too well made–but it does a fabulous job of evoking a place and time.
That brings me to Silver Bears, a little-seen Michael Caine vehicle from 1978, which meets every criteria perfectly. Our actors are in Las Vegas, Switzerland (mainly Lugano), Italy, the United Kingdom, and Morocco (standing in for Iran). Our actors include Caine, Louis Jourdan, Cybill Shepherd, Stéphane Audran, David Warner, Tom Smothers, Jay Leno (before he made it big), Joss Ackland, and Charles Gray.
We begin in Las Vegas with Caine as “Doc” Fletcher. He’s the financial advisor to mobster Joe Fiore (Martin Balsam), and Doc has convinced Joe that for $3 million he can buy a Swiss bank and then use the bank for money laundering. Doc heads off to Switzerland to meet with Prince Gianfranco di Siracusa (Louis Jourdan), a dispossessed Italian prince. With Doc are Joe’s wayward son Albert (Jay Leno) and Marvin (Tony Mascia), a button-man with a sideline in counterfeiting.
The “bank” turns out to be some offices above a pizza restaurant in Lugano, with about a thousand dollars of assets. The “prince” talks his way out of getting whacked by Marvin and Doc, and manages to convince Doc to accompany him to Iran for inspect an exciting new opportunity. This new opportunity turns out to be a newly-discovered silver mine, run by the brother and sister team of Agha and Shireen Firdausi (David Warner, never looking more disreputable, and Stéphane Audran). They just need capital to exploit their find. Doc borrows $5 million, then loans it right back, with an option to take control of the mine if they default.[1]
Back in Switzerland, Marvin and Albert, having gotten stir-crazy, used Marvin’s counterfeiting expertise to bankroll a few good nights at the local casino. Doc returns to Switzerland to find Marvin and Albert moved into a nice villa overlooking the lake, and the bank on firmer footing. It’s at this point that the plot becomes even more complicated, and the bank faces threats from two directions.
In London, obsessive silver magnate Charles Cook (Charles Gray) is disturbed by the appearance of the Firdausis’ silver on the market. In San Francisco, an American bank headed by Henry Foreman (Joss Ackland) is looking to establish a presence in Europe. Foremen sends analyst Donald Luckman (Tom Smothers) to Europe to evaluate this new upstart bank in Switzerland. Luckman, unwisely, brings his wife Debbie (Cybill Shepherd).
What follows is an elaborate game of musical chairs. Cook wants Foreman to act as a straw purchaser of the bank. Once he owns the bank, he can call in the loan and close the mine. Luckman writes the prospectus but–crucially–disguises the silver mine asset as “oil storage tanks” to keep things quiet. Doc enjoys the independence that comes from running a bank and wants to hang on to it. Back in Las Vegas, Joe Fiore is inclined to take the $60 million Cook is offering and walk away rich. Meanwhile, Doc is also carrying on an affair with Debbie who tells Doc far more than either Luckman or Foreman would like.
Matters come to a head when Doc discovers that the “silver mine” is an elaborate sham. The Firdausis are smugglers; the silver is from India and there is no mine to foreclose on. He goes through with selling the bank to Foreman but cuts a deal with Cook; Foreman winds up selling the bank back to Doc. Joe gets paid off, the prince marries Shireen, Agha turns out to be a debauched actor, and Donald Luckman is thrown in jail for three years for falsifying details in the prospectus.
Silver Bears remains a little obscure (under 1000 watched on Letterboxd). I don’t believe it had a DVD/Blu-ray release until Studio Canal put one out in 2020. The video and audio quality is excellent. The plot is ridiculous and both over- and under-explained, but that’s not why you watch a movie like this. You’re watching a bunch of familiar actors clowning around somewhere fun. To see what the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland looked like in the late 1970s. The studio work was obviously done in England; the presence of old hands Shane Rimmer (various James Bond movies and Star Wars), Bruce Boa (General Rieekan in The Empire Strikes Back), and legendary bit player Reg Thomason evoke an age.
Movies like this are fun when you’re of the mind to relax. They don’t push you. On successive rewatches you enjoy the cinematography, and notice little details, like the prince correcting Agha (an actor) when he misstates part of the conspiracy. You admire the desperate grandure of Jourdan’s prince, who still knows everybody but is so destitue that he’s burning old chairs to heat his empty palace.
No, this doesn’t quite make sense, and no, it doesn’t matter. ↩︎