That vacant stare

On a shelf on a Barrister bookcase in my library, between Leonard Mosley’s The Druid and Marie Vassiltchikov’s Berlin diaries, is the 1941 edition of William L. Shirer’s Berlin Diary. Shirer was an American journalist who spent 1934-1940 reporting from Nazi Germany. Although he subsequently authored several books, his real value is as an eyewitness to what was happening there and his impressions of the people.

His entry for August 9, 1939, records a conversation with a “World War [I] officer of proved patriotism.” Germany’s unprovoked invasion of Poland is three weeks in the future. In March, Germany had abrogated the Munich agreement and occupied Prague, along with the rest of Czechoslovakia. Shirer records the officer asking of him:

Why do the English butt in on Danzig and threaten war over the return of a German city? Why do the Poles [sic] provoke us? Haven’t we the right to a German city like Danzig?

Shirer records turning the question back to the officer:

“Have you the right to a Czech city like Prague?” I asked. Silence. No answer. That vacant stare you get on Germans.

I’ve been thinking about that passage this week, after finding out that someone I’ve known and worked with for a long time is an out-and-out Trump supporter, and believes some wild things. That this person is a Republican I was sure of for a long time. In the same way that you don’t open a wall looking for water damage, I didn’t want to probe any deeper, but it all came out.

It happened because we were at dinner, and my friend noted that gatherings in his neighborhood had stopped because of political disagreements. He wondered why people couldn’t get along, and take care of each other. After some soul-searching, I pointed out that political disagreements are one thing, but if one party is actively pushing an agenda that promises to cause real harm to vulnerable people, that doesn’t make for a pleasant afternoon. I didn’t quite get a vacant stare, but I didn’t get through either.

Later in the conversation, my friend spoke at some length on the dangers of illegal immigrants (we don’t know how many are in the country), and brought up a parade of horribles about various crimes committed by said immigrants. The logic being that any crime (including traffic violations) committed by an illegal immigrant is especially horrible, because they shouldn’t be here. I suppose this is the Fox News effect; he’s actually afraid for his safety. My pointing out that violent crime has gone down for 20 years made no impression.

I thought the closest I got to breaking through was asking him, given everything, if he really thought Trump was the man to make him feel safe. Trump, the convicted felon, vs Harris, the former prosecutor (my discomfort with police aside, this wasn’t that conversation). What really got me here is that this man is a good father, a good husband, and a person of unimpeachable personal integrity. I think his answer really came down to outright fear. If you’ve accepted that worldview then Harris won’t be the answer. If you really think it’s your own personal safety on the line, and that of your family, then I suppose the fact that other people will be placed in danger if your guy wins doesn’t register. Not for him anyway.

When you find out a friend has gone Trump you first have to deal with the immediate incident. A conversation that went in directions you didn’t expect and didn’t like. Maybe some awful post on Facebook, if you’re still on Facebook. It doesn’t end there. Every time Trump or his supporters does or says something terrible, you remember your friend. You consider asking him (or her) what they think of that.

You don’t, because you’ll just get that vacant stare (or its electronic equivalent).

I think this is ultimately why people just start cutting Trump supporters out of their lives. It’s not a matter of disagreement–disagreement can be borne–they inhabit a false reality and are prepared to endorse terrible things based on their perception of that reality. There’s nothing you can do to change their minds, and you just make yourself unhappy thinking about it.